


Throwing a Stone In a River

by theroadkillcafe



Category: Naruto
Genre: Body Horror, Body Possession, Eye Gouging, Eye Trauma, Hallucinations, Self-Harm, Suicide, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:27:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5685673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theroadkillcafe/pseuds/theroadkillcafe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sakura graduates from the academy, she suddenly finds her head invaded by the ghost of Uchiha Shisui. Her inner is gone, but not forgotten, and she struggles with impulse control more than ever before. But also, Shisui gives a lot of unsolicited advice - useful and otherwise - and does not shut the fuck up. He’s not thrilled about current events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I’d like to thank Tozette for allowing me use of her prompt and for coming up with the idea. The story would not exist without her. This story would also not exist without Crowind, who cheered me on and nagged me as needed in order to get the writing done, only to immediately beta it for me so it looked presentable. Thank you so, so much. Finally, thanks to Surfacage, who was probably very surprised when a random stranger popped up in their messages asking about Shisui, but very graciously answered my questions. Thanks for helping me out, and thanks for all the artwork you do for the Naruto fandom.

He was ambushed. He cast a genjutsu, but underneath the bandages he wore, Danzou had a Sharingan. For the first time in his life, he wasn't fast enough. He lost his eye.

Wait.

She was walking. She had found a stray kunai that belonged to Sasuke and followed him to return it. She inwardly cheered at the thought of being alone with him. She would definitely prove she wasn't a useless teammate.

Wait.

He was falling. The breeze dried the streams of hot blood on his face into a tacky mess. Above him, he could sense Itachi's presence on the cliff side, watching his suicide.

Wait.

She was falling. Instead of going home, Sasuke had gone to the river and she had slipped on the rocks as she approached him. His stunned face was the last thing she saw as she went over the edge.

Wait.

He was falling. The cold water of the Naka River broke apart under her back. His body slammed against the rocks hidden in the river and water began to fill her lungs.

Sakura woke up.

She flailed around desperately, still feeling the sensation of drowning. One of her fists was caught by a hand. At the same time someone told her to breathe, Sakura realized that the weight covering her body wasn't water but blankets. She brought herself under control slowly and began to take deep gulping breaths. As she calmed down a voice filtered through.

"-kura? You need to calm down, Sakura," her vision cleared as she continued to blink into awareness. It was a nurse talking to her, face solemn and her eyes searching. Sakura met her gaze briefly and then tried to take in her surroundings. Her eyes darted around the room, taking in the pale walls and the window, the curtain that was pulled back, and an open door that led out to a hallway she could just barely glimpse. Her ears took in the sound of beeping and Sakura angled herself to see an IV and a monitor at her bedside.

She was in the hospital. More specifically, it looked like the so called civilian sector of the emergency department, for incidents that were severe enough for someone to be admitted immediately, but not so severe that it required a full team of emergency med nin surgeons. It was most likely that Sakura had been treated by an on call med nin trainee, as a near drowning wasn’t usually severe enough to warrant a fully trained medical shinobi and as a new genin herself, civilian doctors were no longer permitted to treat her.

Her hair was still damp on her head, so she couldn’t have been unconscious for long. In the corner sat her new jounin-sensei, Hatake Kakashi. Probably so he could see if he would need to find a replacement genin for his team if one of them suddenly became brain damaged. His masked face didn’t tell Sakura how felt about her hospitalization.

The nurse caught Sakura’s gaze once more. “Sakura-san, do you remember what happened?”

Sakura frowned in thought and her eyes unfocused. “I…”

_-pain in his skull and blood streaming down his face like tears, the water he accidentally swallowed in his lungs choking him-_

“I drowned?”

The nurse’s face, which Sakura realized had lines of tension, relaxed.

“That’s right, yes. It’s good that you remember, it means there was probably no brain damage. A med nin came by and did a check, and he never found anything, but in cases like this its best to verify when the patient wakes up. Now, we’re going to do a quick physical.”

She then had Sakura complete a small series of tests that included tracking her finger, wiggling her feet and fingers, and answering a few more basic questions regarding her personal life. All of them she finished flawlessly. Another moment was taken for the nurse to listen to her heart and lungs, only for her to declare that her heart was beating normally and her lungs didn’t sound like they had any fluid in them.

The nurse went on to explain that Sakura had to visit tomorrow to make sure no other symptoms of her near drowning cropped up, and was in the middle of explaining that pneumonia was a possiblity when she cut herself off.

“Is there something bothering your eye?”

Sakura’s hand dropped from where she had been unconsciously feeling around the right eye socket and brushing her eyelid. She glanced up into the nurse’s faintly frowning face.

“Did something happen to my eye?”

_-he lost his eye, too slow too slow, how could he be too slow, why did that man have one of those eyes-_

She peered at Sakura’s right eye. “No, there was no damage to your face. Only mild abrasions to your back and a small bump on the head from the rocks. You were quite lucky; some parts of the Naka River are quite dangerous, you know. Does your eye hurt at all? Someone might have missed something.”

“No, it doesn’t hurt. I-I thought I hit my face when I fell. I must remember it wrong,” Sakura said. There wasn’t any way she going to tell the nurse she thought someone had ripped out her right eye before she fell in the river. It didn’t make sense, especially when she hadn’t been attacked and she clearly still had her eye. The nurse clucked her tongue and brought out a small light that she shined in Sakura’s eye. She twitched away from the brightness but obliging kept her eye open so the nurse could see the reaction.

“Well, your eye is dilating properly, and you say it doesn’t hurt, so it is quite possible you only thought you hit your face. There’s no bruising or scrapes anywhere to indicate you were hit there. Perhaps it was just a close call?” the nurse smiled at Sakura. Sakura smiled tentatively back.

“Once the doctor comes in, you’ll be able to fill out your release paperwork and go home. Get a good night’s rest, and then come back tomorrow. If nothing is wrong, you’ll be able to go back to your training right away. Take care!” she said. And with that she swept out of the room, no doubt to check on her next patient.

With the nurse gone and Sakura left alone with her jounin-sensei, the silence soon grew awkward. She had a feeling she was supposed to explain herself, but she didn’t know what to say to him. What kind of idiot, Sakura flushed, fell into the river and almost drowned? Her fingers picked at the blanket while she dithered between whether or not to say anything to Kakashi-sensei. If he hadn’t thought her foolish before, he probably did now. She drew in a breath to begin her explanation and turned her eyes to him, only to freeze in shock.

It wasn’t Kakashi-sensei sitting there in the chair anymore. Or rather, it was, but a Kakashi-sensei she didn’t know. This one wore the gray armor typical of ANBU and, Sakura flinched, his eye was uncovered, revealing a long scar and a red eye, as opposed to the dark grey of his right. Sakura might keep her eye covered too, if it looked like that. She blinked rapidly and the mirage disappeared, leaving behind the slightly more familiar Kakashi she had met yesterday, wearing the Konoha standard lightly armored green vest.

“Is there something wrong?” Kakashi-sensei’s lone uncovered eye didn’t seem to be accusing her, but Sakura found herself talking to him all the same.

“No, I just-I was just trying to figure out how to explain what happened,” Sakura said lamely. No matter which way she said it, _I slipped on a rock and fell in the Naka River and now I keep seeing things_ sounded ridiculous.

Kakashi pulled out a bright orange book. “Sasuke already told me. You followed him to the river and fell in.” Sakura turned bright red in embarrassment. “He was the one who pulled you out and brought you to the hospital,” Kakashi added. Sakura didn’t want to giggle over that mental image in front of her sensei, so she steadfastly ignored it.

“Do my parents know?” she asked.

“Your parents were both alerted and are on standby in case anything goes wrong. As they had guard duty, I volunteered to come make sure you were fine and escorted home without further incident.”

Sakura winced. Kakashi-sensei definitely thought she was an idiot.

“Um, thank you. For coming. And…stuff,” she said. He said nothing in return and so Sakura began picking absent mindedly at her blanket. Her mind turned instead to the strange things she had seen, both while unconscious and just now in the hospital room. It didn’t take much effort to bring the images to the forefront of her mind.

_“I’m a suspicious man, and I won’t change. What happens when you can’t trust me?”_

_-he didn’t have time, he wasn’t going to make it, not with two ROOT squads to evade. He had to meet with him, had to explain, it was all over now, there was no way to stop it-_

_“You’re my best friend. That’s why I want you to have the other one, for safe keeping.”_

_-no one could use his body, not with this, he’s said his goodbyes but he’s leaving him to do this all alone what kind of friend is he-_

_-too late can’t fix it now-_

_-why hasn’t he moved on, is he going to have to spend eternity in the river, guess he’s really living up to his name then-_

_-…who is that in the river? They’re…pink-_

Sakura shook herself to dislodge whatever it was that was filtering through her mind. They weren’t whole memories, more snatches of voices and scenery, complete with a steady flow of accompanying thoughts. Sakura frowned down at her blanket. It made no sense. How did falling into a river give her whatever was happening in her head. Maybe it was the temporary loss of oxygen? She glanced at Kakashi-sensei and contemplated telling him. Just as she opened her mouth, there was a knock at the door and then a med nin peered inside.

“Haruno Sakura? I have your release paperwork.”

Sakura closed her mouth. Her jounin instructor would just think she was crazy anyway on top of being an idiot. It’d probably go away after a good night’s sleep.

She filled out the paperwork that the new shinobi had brought and nodded along with his explanation of her follow up care. It echoed much of what the nurse had told her fifteen minutes prior, including that she had to come back to the hospital tomorrow and that she could be at risk for pneumonia. He unfortunately didn’t say anything about near drowning including symptoms of hallucinations. Maybe, Sakura thought to herself, it was just her Inner Sakura? Though she didn’t know why her Inner self would come up with such odd images or include such a vivid, gory sensation of having her eye removed. Inner Sakura was mostly concerned with their mutual crush on Sasuke and their rivalry with Ino, though Sakura suspected she’d soon also become preoccupied with Naruto’s…Naruto-ness. She waited a moment to see if there would be a reply to her inner monologue. Her mind remained silent.

She was given a set of scrubs to walk home in and her belongings in a bag. With everything gathered up and herself officially released, she made for the door so she could leave. Kakashi-sensei ambled along behind her while still reading his books. For all intents and purposes, he appeared to be completely ignoring her and only happened to just be walking in the same direction as she was. Sakura might’ve believed that image too if it weren’t for the fact that earlier today he had soundly trounced her new team while spending the majority of the time reading. Jounin, Sakura decided, were very strange.

Outside, things weren’t much better. If anything, the images and illusions she saw multiplied, disappearing with a blink and reappearing another blink later. She saw people walking in the street she had never seen before. The shape of some of the buildings were different. On one notable occasion, she had cast her gaze toward the edge of the village and saw what could only be the Kyuubi letting loose a terrible roar. That had scared her into stopping in fear momentarily before it vanished and Sakura was reminded that she was in the middle of the street. If Sakura was seeing the Kyuubi on the horizon…was she seeing ghosts? But no, that didn’t make sense. She had seen an image of Kakashi in the hospital, and he was most certainly alive right now. And there was no such thing as ghosts anyway.

Despite the distraction of whatever it was that Sakura kept seeing, she made it home in short order. There, she awkwardly said goodbye to Kakashi-sensei. She had no doubt that he had noticed her odd behavior but had decided not to comment on it.

Sakura wrote a note to her parents that she was home and sleeping in her room before trudging to her room. All she wanted to do was take a bath and go to sleep, and it was unfair to not let her parents know she was fine. Thankfully, her house didn’t seem to inspire anymore weird mirages and Sakura was able to take a bath and get ready for bed in peace. An hour after she had returned home, Sakura was asleep in bed.

_She was standing on a cliff, staring at a black haired boy in ANBU armor. It was nighttime, and there was something dried and crusty on her face beneath her right eye. Sakura tried to blink but couldn’t. Or rather, her left eye blinked…but her right eye was gone. Panic rose in Sakura’s throat. She needed to go to the hospital. Someone had ripped out her eye. She tried to tell the boy that they needed to leave but instead her remaining eye stayed fixed on him. Her mouth tugged into a small smile without her permission._

_“You’re my best friend. That’s why I want you to have the other one, for safe keeping.” Her hand rose. With horror, Sakura realized she was going remove her own eye. She struggled to lower her arm but it kept rising relentlessly towards her face. She couldn’t scream for help and the boy was just standing there, he was going to let her do it, no no no no-_

_The last thing she saw were her own fingers._

_It was funny. Sakura could feel how scared she was, how sickened and horrified. And yet her body gave no physical response. It had to be a dream. And if it was dream, she could wake up._

_-wake up wake up wake up-_

_Sakura held out her hand with her eye ball sitting in it, dripping blood and fluid everywhere. If she could, she would’ve vomited, but the dream didn’t allow her to control her own body. Then she heard the call of a bird – a raven?- and then claws had plucked the eye out of her palm._

_-wake up it’s just a dream wake up-_

_“You’re the only one I can count on. Protect the village, and the Uchiha name.”_

_-wake up wake up wake up-_

_Sakura took a step backward. She could hear a river rushing from somewhere behind her and below. Was she on the cliffs above the Naka River? She was…she was going to jump off the cliff. She was going to kill herself by drowning. She took another step, then another, and then she was falling, still smiling. Oh god, she was going to die. The breeze was drying the fresh blood on her face into a tacky mess. Her back was going to break the surface of the river any moment now._

_-wake up it’s just dream wake up wake up WAKE UP-_

Sakura woke up.

Her hands flew to her face immediately and felt around, and when she felt her eyes still in her skull she began to take great, shuddering breaths. She stayed hunched over in her bed for a long time while she tried to put her nightmare out of her mind. Who even had those kinds of nightmares? What was with her sudden preoccupation with eyes? She looked at her clock, which informed her in bright red numerals that it was very early in the morning. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep, and Sakura wasn’t even sure if she could after a nightmare like that.

Frustrated and still a bit scared, Sakura decided not to bother prettying herself up today. She pulled on her regular red dress and tugged a brush through her hair but neglected to make sure her bangs hung just right to frame her face, or that her hair gleamed perfectly in the light. It was straight and unknotted, and that would have to do for today. Hungry as she was, she also decided to forgo not eating breakfast. She didn’t have dinner last night so it wasn’t like she was even adding all that many calories. She would still look pretty. Just not…extra pretty. Hopefully Sasuke wouldn’t notice.

Making breakfast helped make the nightmare more distant. The sun was just beginning to rise, making the kitchen slowly become brighter. Sakura hummed a little as she shaped some onigiri and actually began to look forward to eating a full breakfast. It had been awhile since she’d had something more than just miso soup. And her parents would probably appreciate having breakfast waiting for them when they woke up. They could have a nice family breakfast for once. And then Sakura would go to training and prove to Kakashi-sensei that she wasn’t an idiot and show Sasuke how talented of a kunoichi she really was.

_‘This is a lot less boring than sitting in the river all day already,’_ a male voice said inside her head.

Sakura dropped the onigiri in shock and screamed.


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura barely had time to take in the mess of onigiri she had made on the floor when her dad suddenly appeared in the kitchen entry way, star-shaped hair disheveled looking and a kunai in hand. His wide eyes darted around the room trying to take in the enemy that had frightened his daughter only to determine there was none present.

 

“Sakura-chan? What’s the matter?”

 

Her mind stalled as she tried to come up with an explanation for her scream. It wasn’t as if she could explain she thought she heard a voice speaking in her head that was different from the one that had been there before. She cleared her throat enough to be able to squeak out, “I saw a spider.”

 

Her father’s shoulders relaxed and he dragged his empty hand down his face. “A spider, huh? I bet you scared him more than he scared you.” The kunai disappeared, likely up a sleeve somewhere, and Kizashi approached Sakura and the deformed onigiri at her feet.

 

“So what’s got you up so early making breakfast?” He peered around her to look at the food that was already made. Sakura was nearly done; the onigiri she had dropped was going to be her last one before she made some miso soup.

 

She tore loose some paper towel to wipe up the rice. “I had a nightmare, and since I didn’t have dinner last night I thought it would be good to have breakfast.” In the light of day, her nightmare about eyes and the river seemed ridiculous. Of all the things to be frightened of! But her father didn’t mock her but instead made a sympathetic noise in his throat and patted her head.

 

“Well, you had an exciting day yesterday, between meeting your new team and falling in the Naka River. It was probably a bit too stressful. How about you tell me about it after I get dressed?” He smiled down at her, drawing a similar one from Sakura. He ambled out of the kitchen back to her parents’ room and everything was blissfully normal.

 

_‘A spider? Really?’_

 

And then the voice reminded her of its existence. Sakura’s eyes unfocused as she turned her attention inwards.

 

_‘I wouldn’t have had to make up an excuse like that if you hadn’t scared me!’_ Sakura thought towards the voice. Maybe Inner Sakura was being fickle and wanted to sound like a man? But she had never done anything like that before.

 

There was a ripple of amusement mixed with incredulity. _‘Honestly, I don’t know what’s more ridiculous: your excuse or the fact that he believed you. Your father, I’m guessing.’_

Sakura paused as she digested those words. _‘You’re definitely not Inner Sakura.’_

Inner Sakura had always known who the people around Sakura were to her, and Inner Sakura had never separated herself from Sakura to such a degree as to tease her. Inner Sakura was the extreme, suppressed thoughts of Sakura; anything Sakura couldn’t voice aloud Inner Sakura expressed mentally, and things Sakura liked or disliked Inner Sakura loved or hated in greater measure.

 

_‘I have no idea what an Inner Sakura is, but I do know that I’m not one._ ’ A beat, and then, _‘Have you always had voices in your head? You’re rather calm about this. You should get that tested.’_

 

_‘I-it was perfectly fine until you showed up! What are you anyway?’_

_‘I’m a who, not a what. And my name is Shisui.’_

_‘That’s nice, but that doesn’t tell me what you’re doing inside my head.’_ Sakura thought a bit dryly. She got the impression of a shrug from the voice.

 

_‘I don’t know. One moment I was floating in the river when you fell in, and the next thing I know I came to inside your head.’_ Shisui said. _‘Also, heads up, I think your father is coming back.’_

 

Sakura got to work shaping a new onigiri so it wouldn’t be obvious she had been standing in the kitchen staring into space, and sure enough, her dad walked in, closely followed by her mother. Both were dressed and ready for the day, which included another afternoon shift of patrol and gate duty, if Sakura recalled correctly.

 

The voice-named-Shisui remained silent as Sakura’s mother helped her finish making breakfast and they sat down to eat. Apparently he wasn’t terribly interested in her family life, despite his previous claim of having been bored in the river. Which, what did that even mean? The phrase “floating in the river” brought to Sakura’s mind corpses, and she was fairly certain there had been no dead bodies in the Naka River yesterday. Sakura was grateful for his silence either way; it would be difficult to have the normal breakfast with her parents that she’d wanted when she woke up if there was a voice in her head constantly trying to catch her attention.

 

Breakfast was pleasant, though Sakura did find herself repeating endlessly that she was fine after the near disaster at the river yesterday. Her responses to her parents’ questions weren’t exactly detailed.

 

“So how exactly did you fall in the Naka River?” her mother asked.

 

Sakura flushed a dull red and looked down at her plate. “The rocks were slippery,” she mumbled. She was sure that both of her parents knew she had an enormous crush on Sasuke, but that didn’t mean they had to know that her crush had been the motivation behind rushing to see him and consequently nearly drowning.

 

Mebuki seemed to sense that although there was more to the story, Sakura didn’t want to share, and she didn’t push for more details. “Well, soon enough you’ll learn from your jounin instructor how to handle situations like that and it won’t happen again. Speaking of your new team leader, what do you think of him?” And she turned the topic of conversation away from Sakura’s watery misadventure and onto her team.

 

All too soon, it was time for Sakura to leave for the hospital for her check up to make sure she was fit for training. She was confident that she was going to be given the all clear. Her lungs felt fine, she had no headaches, and there was no sign of fever or chills. The only lingering problem she had from falling into the river was Shisui.

 

_‘So when you fell in the river, did you just forget how to water walk all of a sudden?’_

Sakura struggled not to splutter aloud. _‘I can’t believe you’re making fun of me! The Naka River is dangerous you know! I could’ve died! And-and what is water walking?’_

 

_‘You don’t know what water walking is?’_ Sakura both felt Shisui’s shock and heard it in his voice, and it was incredibly unsettling, to feel emotions that weren’t her own. _‘When did you graduate from the Academy? What were you even doing playing around by the Naka River if you can’t water walk?’_

 

_‘I graduated from the Academy two days ago. And I wasn’t playing around the Naka River,’_ Sakura thought defensively. _‘I was trying to return a kunai to Sasuke-kun. He dropped it during our team survival training.’_

 

And instead of trying to be helpful, she ended up causing him more problems by nearly drowning and making him take her to the hospital. Now she would have to work extra hard in training to show what an excellent kunoichi she was and make him notice her. And when he noticed her, Sakura will have finally, definitively beaten Ino.

 

_‘That’s like, the third time this morning you’ve thought about this kid. I didn’t know girls started getting boyfriends so young.’_

 

Sakura nearly tripped at Shisui’s words.

 

_‘I, you-! It’s not like that!’_

 

_‘If you say so, kid. Oh, look, there’s the hospital.’_

 

Shisui’s words drew Sakura’s attention away from their internal conversation to find that she had indeed arrived at the hospital. A few moments after walking inside, Sakura had secured a quick check up with one of the junior med nin. While she waited for their arrival, she debated whether or not to tell them about Shisui. On one hand, Sakura was fairly certain this was not a normal reaction to drowning in a river. On the other hand, telling the hospital about Shisui would necessitate telling them about Inner Sakura, which Sakura had never done before. It would be much easier to just not say anything. Sakura was used to having a voice in her head. Shisui wasn’t that much different from Inner Sakura, just more annoying.

 

In another few minutes the med nin arrived and ten minutes after that Sakura was sent on her way with a clean bill of health. The medic hadn’t even seemed to realize there was something abnormal about Sakura, the same as every other doctor who had ever looked at her for any reason. Shisui, like Inner Sakura, remained undetectable, even when the medic had chakra at their disposal. That suited Sakura just fine.

 

Once she was out of the hospital and no longer obligated to interact with the outside world, Shisui apparently felt free to talk to Sakura again. _‘So what’s so great about this Sasuke kid anyway?’_

 

Sakura struggled both with her embarrassment over her crush on Sasuke and the need to tell Shisui off. It was one thing for Sakura’s peers to know about and acknowledge her feelings towards Sasuke; she had never made them secret, after all. It was another for adults to notice and ask about it, and Shisui at least sounded like an adult, even if his demeanor didn’t match his voice. At the same time, well, what wasn’t great about Sasuke?

 

In the end, Sakura decided to gush about Sasuke. After all, Shisui was in her head. Who was he going to tell?

 

_‘Sasuke-kun is so cool! He’s the best genin in our class, he even made Rookie of the Year! And he’s_ so _handsome. He always wins in his taijutsu matches, and the only ones who do better on the academic tests are Shikamaru and me. And Shikamaru doesn’t count because he always lost to Sasuke-kun during spars. And I get to be Sasuke-kun’s teammate instead of stupid Ino-pig, which means she’ll never have a chance at him!’_

 

There was a long moment where Shisui was utterly silent and Sakura was unable to discern even his emotions. His silence quickly made her feel uncomfortable and self conscious.

 

Finally, he said, _‘Well. I’m sure Sasuke has some talent as a shinobi.’_

 

_‘Now you’re making fun of me,’_ Sakura thought, feeling a bit hurt. Inner Sakura had never made fun of her or her feelings before.

 

He didn’t bother to deny it. _‘Only a little bit, but I’m sure you’ll grow out of it. What about your other teammate?’_

 

_‘Naruto? He’s an idiot and he’s annoying. He’s always running around yelling about being the Hokage, but he’s so dumb. I can’t believe I got stuck on a team with him.’_

_‘That’s pretty harsh. Are you sure he has no redeeming qualities at all?’_

 

Sakura tried to take Shisui’s question seriously. After all, it’d be pretty bad if Sakura couldn’t get along with Naruto at all. They were going to be on a team together for the forseeable future and they’d need to work together to succeed. Kakashi-sensei had taught them that already.

 

_‘…he’s got lots of chakra and he never gives up?’_ The first was a quality that Sakura felt a little envious of, having small reserves herself, despite it being normal for girls to take longer to develop their stores in comparison to boys. The second…well, Sakura could grudgingly admit in the privacy of her own mind that Naruto’s resolve was something to be admired.

 

_‘See, he’s not so bad. All genin teams are a little rough around the edges when they start out, but that’s what your jounin instructor is for.’_ Shisui said.

Sakura considered Kakashi-sensei. With the way he had batted them around yesterday with such ease, there was no denying he was a skilled shinobi. But he didn’t really fit Sakura’s image of an elite shinobi. It didn’t matter now, of course. Sakura was stuck with Team 7, for better or worse.

 

Like earlier, the distance from the hospital and the training grounds seemed to have shortened while she spoke with Shisui in her head. Before she knew it, she had arrived at the training area to find Naruto and Sasuke glaring at each other and Kakashi-sensei noticeably absent. Sakura had the sinking feeling that his tendency for tardiness wasn’t just a one time thing.

 

Naruto was the first to notice Sakura’s approach and immediately straightened to greet her.

 

“Sakura-chan! Are you okay? You didn’t get hurt did you? I yelled at Sasuke-teme for you, I can’t believe he didn’t take care of you-“ Sakura cut off Naruto.

 

“Stupid! Sasuke-kun saved me, he didn’t just let me drown! You didn’t yell at him did you?” Sakura propped her hands on her hips as she loomed over Naruto. She tilted her head to catch Sasuke in her peripheral vision to check his reaction. Did he notice her defending him?

 

_‘That’s Sasuke?’_  Shisui seemed rather interested in Sasuke now that he could see him through Sakura’s eyes.

 

_‘Yeah. Isn’t he so cool?’_

 

_‘It’s a bit unfortunate.’_ Instead of agreeing with her, Shisui instead felt…unsettled. Sakura blinked in surprise.

 

_‘Why?’_

 

There was a pause from Shisui, like he was trying to figure out what to say. _‘Well, it’s just…his hair looks a bit like a duck’s ass, doesn’t it?’_ Sakura froze as Shisui’s words registered. At first she was outraged that someone would dare say such a thing about Sasuke. But…Sakura glanced at Sasuke and her lips involuntarily twitched. Well, Shisui wasn’t _wrong_.

 

“Uh, Sakura-chan?” Naruto’s hesitant voice cut through her thoughts.

 

“What?” she snapped at him as she jerked back to the real world.

 

Naruto scratched the back of his head. “Well, you were making funny faces. Are you okay? Did the hospital miss something when you went for your check up?”

 

It was a struggle for Sakura not to burst into giggles. _Yeah, they missed the new voice I have in my head._ Instead she scowled at him.

 

“Are you saying something about my face?”

 

“N-no! You have a great face, Sakura-chan!” Naruto backed up and out of her reach. Sakura relaxed her posture. No sense getting into a scuffle this early, before practice had even started. It would just make them look unprofessional when they were supposed to be real shinobi now.

 

Instead, Sakura spun to regard Sasuke. A part of her wanted to hug him in gratefulness for saving her life, but Sakura refrained. He didn’t like to be touched and Sakura didn’t want to crowd his space. And then as her eyes fully took him in, reality blurred and warped. Suddenly it wasn’t Sasuke standing there but a grinning young boy, gap toothed and flushed with happiness. Just like yesterday, when Sakura blinked rapidly the image was gone. She shook her head slightly to help focus on the present. If she tried hard enough, it would be like she had never seen anything.

 

“Sasuke-kun, thank you for yesterday!” She beamed at him even as her face began to blush. She could just imagine Sasuke diving off the cliff and using his jutsu to help pull her body from the river. And then he probably carried her in his arms as he raced to the hospital to save her life. How romantic!

 

_‘You’re kidding right? That’s not romance, that’s just common courtesy.’_ Sakura’s smile became strained at Shisui’s words.

 

_‘Shut up you jerk. It was totally romantic!’_

 

Sasuke’s response filtered through her conversation with Shisui.

 

“-st don’t do it again.” Sakura ducked her head, a little embarrassed. It didn’t matter how romantic it might have been – it still didn’t change the fact that she almost died in a stupid accident.

 

“I’m sorry for all the trouble I must’ve caused you,” Sakura said. Sasuke shrugged but it didn’t escape Sakura’s notice that he glanced quickly down her body. Worry clouded her thoughts. Sakura _knew_ she should’ve brushed her hair more this morning.

 

_‘Now you’re being silly. He’s making sure you’re all right.’_ If inanimate voices had eyes, Sakura was sure Shisui would be rolling his.

 

Sakura decided to ignore him. He was a terrible distraction. But if he was right, then that meant Sasuke was worried about her, and that was even better than him noticing her looks.

 

“Hmph. If Sasuke-teme is so great, why’d he let you fall in the first place?” Off to the side, Naruto pouted at the two of them.

 

“Maa, maa, the important thing is that Sakura is fine now,” Sakura startled badly at the sound of Kakashi’s voice. Inside her head, Shisui snickered loudly.

 

_‘Did you know he was there?’_ Sakura fumed.

 

There was still laughter in his voice when he replied, _‘Of course I did, it’s not like he was trying very hard to conceal himself. I forgot how hilarious genin are.’_

 

Luckily for Sakura’s ego, both Naruto and Sasuke seemed just as surprised as Sakura at the sudden appearance of Kakashi-sensei. At least, it was sudden to her, even if it wasn’t to Shisui.

 

Sakura turned to greet Kakashi-sensei and this time the double image of the ANBU version of Kakashi overlying the slouching, tardy version didn’t shock her at all.

 

“Kakashi-sensei, you’re late!” At her side, Naruto echoed her words in tandem, except he had the audacity to point accusingly at the jounin. Sakura was too irritated to reprimand him. It was rude to point at people, but it was also rude to show up to a meeting of any kind several hours late.

 

Shisui snorted inside her head. _‘If you had any idea who your jounin instructor was, you would be the one who would be acting more respectful. This team has the potential to be really really good….or an absolute disaster.’_

 

_‘And what exactly does that mean?’_ Sakura asked acidly.

 

_‘Look, you’ve got the Rookie of the Year, apparently, then there’s the blond kid, and it’s no wonder you said he has huge reserves, he’d have to. And then you, which, for as much as you fawn over Sasuke, you’re reasonably clever and intelligent.’_

 

Shisui’s words drowned out Kakashi’s reply to their accusation. Instead, Sakura’s mind began to tick over the things Shisui had said during the course of the day, noticing a disturbing pattern. Ignoring how Shisui could know what her intelligence was, she instead asked him something else.

 

_‘Why would you expect Naruto to have high chakra reserves?’_

 

_‘That’s an S-class secret and not for you to know,’_ he answered.

 

Kakashi-sensei was still talking, and Sakura should be paying attention to him. She was probably standing there with her mouth hanging open like an idiot, but the puzzle of what was going on inside her mind had all of her attention.

 

_‘Earlier, you told me that it was boring sitting in the river all day. Then you said before that genin teams all start out rough. And then you mentioned that thing about Kakashi-sensei.’_ She started slowly.

 

There was a sense of curiosity from Shisui. _‘What’s your point?’_

 

_‘And I keep seeing all these things when I look at people. You have knowledge that I couldn’t have. Before, when it was just Inner Sakura…she only knew the things that I knew. But you don’t. So where are you getting this knowledge from? More importantly…what are you?’_

_‘Ah, I see.’_ Shisui paused. Sakura waited with barely concealed anticipation. With all the banter they had traded throughout the day, Sakura had noticed more and more these oddities in his speech, and her curiosity had grown. Inner Sakura had always been a mystery to her, but one that Sakura had accepted unquestioningly. Now she wished she had thought more about what Inner Sakura might have meant, because then Sakura might know more about what Shisui was. But that all changed when he answered her.

 

_‘Haven’t you guessed yet? I’m a ghost.’_


	3. Chapter 3

_‘Haven’t you guessed yet? I’m a ghost.’_

_‘I think that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve been in a classroom with Naruto,’_ Sakura thought to Shisui flatly.

 

Still, whatever Sakura thought of Shisui’s statement, it provided an explanation of the weird hallucinations she’d been seeing. But then what did that make Inner Sakura? She couldn’t have been a ghost, could she? And where did she go? With a sinking heart, Sakura realized it was very likely that Shisui’s place in her head meant that he had kicked Inner Sakura out. If it were a choice between Shisui or her Inner, Sakura didn’t think she’d choose Shisui. With that in mind, she thought to Shisui again.

 

_‘Can you leave? I think I’d rather have Inner Sakura back.’_

 

_‘Well that’s not rude or anything,’_ Shisui replied.

 

Sakura hoped that her mind was able to accurately convey how ironic she found Shisui’s statement. As if he hadn’t been anything but rude since he first started talking to her.

 

But Sakura was distracted from her conversation with the apparent ghost in her head when two more Kakashis abruptly poofed into existence. She waved the chakra smoke away in annoyance. He had to have done that on purpose, there was no way Kakashi didn’t have the control to prevent chakra smoke. Sakura’s train of thought paused as her brain stumbled over that piece of information, bemused.

 

“Ehh?! Kakashi-sensei, you know my Kage Bunshin jutsu?” Naruto exclaimed.

 

“It’s a common technique amongst jounin,” Sakura said distractedly.

 

_‘How do I know that?’_

 

Shisui sounded equally as puzzled. _‘From me, most probably. Are you sure you didn’t already know that?’_

_‘I didn’t even know what Kage Bunshin was until yesterday when Naruto used it,’_ thought Sakura.

 

“Sakura is right,” Kakashi said. “Even though it is called a forbidden technique, many jounin can perform it. It can be a very useful and versatile technique when applied properly.” His voice was bland but somehow Sakura got the impression that Naruto had not used it properly at all yesterday. But how did he even learn it in the first place?

 

Kakashi continued, “With Kage Bunshin, I’ll be able to split my attention between the three of you fairly. But first, you must complete your team exercise.”

 

“What exercise?” asked Sakura. Everyone lapsed into an awkward silence as they stared at her. She shifted uncomfortably under her team’s gaze. She hadn’t missed something important while she had been talking to Shisui, had she?

 

“Kakashi explained that our team exercise was to make it to the top of the Hokage Mountain as fast as we could, as an entire team. We could not leave anyone behind, even if it meant arriving quicker,” Sasuke explained. Sakura flushed with embarrassment and resolved to completely ignore Shisui until team practice was over. Talking to him inside her mind was going to get her skewered some day. Plus, it made her look like the idiot of the team when she spaced out enough to miss simple instructions. Still, Sakura smiled to herself, Sasuke spoke to her!

 

_‘Cha! Take that, Ino-pig!’_

 

“I will be waiting here for when you three return, where I will go over your individual training session.” Kakashi’s eye crinkled in a smile that felt very false. “Have fun!”

 

Naruto and Sasuke immediately broke into a sprint. Sakura realized belatedly that she was meant to follow and they had to run to the top of the mountain from the training grounds, not the mountain’s base. She darted off after them, already seconds behind and losing ground due to their higher speed.

 

She pushed herself harder, willing her legs to run faster but to no avail. Even Naruto seemed to have no problem keeping up with Sasuke’s superior speed. He wasn’t as fast, but his stamina let him continue to push hard and follow along behind their teammate. For the first time, Sakura faintly wondered if it would have been a better idea to put more focus into her physical training over her academics.

 

The three of them had just cleared one set of training fields and were entering another when Sakura, frustrated with Naruto and Sasuke leaving her behind and faintly bickering with each other while they were at it, bellowed, “Hey! I’m still back here!”

 

They both slowed to a stop so she could catch up, and to her consternation, neither of them were breathing hard. Sakura wasn’t quite panting, but she wasn’t exactly breathing evenly either.

 

_‘You are really out of shape_.’ Shisui noted.

 

_‘Shut up.’_

 

“We’re supposed to get there as _a team_ ,” she stressed. “That means you need to run slow enough for me to keep u-“ her sentence ended on a shriek when a force suddenly yanked on her legs and Sakura abruptly found herself hanging upside down from a tree. Crouched on the branch she was dangling from was Kakashi, clicking his tongue at them in reproach.

 

“Now Sakura, it’s not just their responsibility to slow down for you. You should also learn to speed up.” He fairly radiated amusement.

 

Naruto tensed up and his nose wrinkled in his confusion. “O-oi, Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing? We’re trying to get to the Hokage Mountain, like you said.”

 

“Hm, yes. But you see, even though there will be times you will have a mission that requires you to arrive somewhere as quickly as possible, you may have enemies who want to make sure you never make it, or even prevent you from making it in time to, say, pass on vital battle field updates,” he said. “For today’s purposes, I am your enemy, preventing you from reaching the top of the Hokage Mountain in a timely fashion. And I’ve already captured one of your teammates.” Kakashi gestured to Sakura blatantly.

 

She wriggled helplessly from the branch, trying to loosen the knots enough to begin untying them and free herself. Unfortunately, her efforts amounted to her just swaying back and forth. She nearly let loose a screech of frustration. There was no way she could rely on Naruto and Sasuke to work together the beat Kakashi long enough to free her. They meshed about as well as oil and water. Her best chance was to free herself while they distracted him. But, Sakura thought as she jerked again, she didn’t even know where to start.

 

_‘Relax, relax, he hasn’t even used a complicated knot or anything to tie you up.’_ Shisui’s voice was filled with mirth at her predicament. Sakura halted in her struggles.

 

_‘You’ll help me?’_ she thought hopefully.

 

_‘I shouldn’t,’_ he admitted, _‘but…well, let’s just say you need to learn to take advantage of all your resources, and sometimes the enemy has resources you don’t know about.’_

 

In this case, Shisui was a resource Kakashi wouldn’t know about. Sakura took a deep breath, ignoring Sasuke and Naruto for now, who had decided to try to move Kakashi from his position above Sakura, in order to engage him in a full assault without catching her in the crossfire.

 

_‘Okay. So what first?’_

 

_‘Well, ordinarily if this were a real mission and you desperately needed to free yourself, I’d tell you to dislocate your shoulders so you could bring your hands in front of you to untie them before undoing your ankles. Since this is just a training exercise…’_ Shisui drifted off thoughtfully.

 

_‘Can you reach your kunai pouch?’_

 

Sakura waggled her fingers back and forth in answer. _‘I think so.’_ Kakashi had to be really treating them with kid gloves to not bother tying her fingers in such a way as to prevent jutsu or even just grasping objects. She had learned that back in the Academy. It never would have occurred to her to simply reach for a weapon while her hands were tied because even Academy students knew better than to tie a shinobi up so sloppily.

 

_‘Good. Take one out and get your hands loose. We can have an advanced lesson on escape art later.’_

 

Her spirits lifted, Sakura obligingly withdrew a kunai and with a bit of fumbling where she nicked the side of her wrist, she cut her hands free. From there it was a simple matter of swinging herself upward with enough momentum to reach her ankles and cut herself down.

 

In the mean time, Kakashi had allowed himself to be chased from his position above her and was now lazily engaging Sasuke and Naruto, casually dodging shuriken from the former and batting away Kage Bunshin of the latter. Sakura grumpily noted that Naruto had enough chakra to apparently not worry about the fact that they weren’t even a quarter into their run and that he might need to conserve it for later.

 

Sakura flung the kunai in her hand at Kakashi as a distraction and also to let her team know she was loose. Even if they couldn’t directly help her escape, if this had been a mission, they had at least provided a distraction to stop the enemy from noticing her own efforts.

 

“Guys, we need to go!” she called.

 

“Sakura-chan, what are you talking about?”

 

It took effort not to roll her eyes at Naruto. “We already know we can’t defeat Kakashi-sensei. We don’t have the skill or the teamwork yet for it. That means if we ever want to reach the Hokage Monument, we need to retreat and keep running. The rules were just to reach the top right? That doesn’t mean we have to beat Kakashi-sensei, he’s just trying to stop us.”

 

Sasuke was scowling deeply at her words. Apparently he wanted to finish the fight more than he wanted to complete their given objective. Thankfully Kakashi interjected.

 

“Maa, I can see who the clever one is on this team, even if she doesn’t pay attention.”

 

Sakura turned bright pink at his words. She should’ve guessed some kind of reprimand was coming for not listening earlier. She frowned. Was that also a jab about her slipping into the Naka River yesterday…? She shook her head and jumped from the tree, sailing over Kakashi’s head and landing with her teammates.

 

“Let’s go!” she urged, already breaking into a run. Luckily they didn’t seem to need any other encouragement to leave Kakashi behind them.

 

Forty-five minutes later saw the whole of Team 7 collapsed at the top of the Hokage Mountain at one of the scenic spots that provided a clear view of the village. All three of them were panting hard and were a combination of sweaty, bruised, singed, and completely drenched. Kakashi, on the other hand, looked completely relaxed.

 

His efforts to stop them, though undoubtedly gentle, had included such things as dumping them into a shallow river that wound through the village, dropping an impromptu illusion over them that had them running in the opposite direction before Sakura had caught on, somehow redirecting one of Sasuke’s fireballs back at them, and just in general kicking them around and slowing them down as the ran for the top. Sakura had had it the worst of the three, being the slowest and having the least endurance, and she had nearly felt on the verge of tears when they had reached the mountain and she remembered that they had to run up all those stairs to the top.

 

“Well,” Kakashi said over their prone forms, “that could’ve been worse.”

 

Inside her head, Shisui was incoherent with snickers. It just made Sakura scowl harder.

 

_‘You are the most useless resource ever. You couldn’t have taught me something to help me get past Kakashi-sensei?’_

 

There was a momentary pause while Shisui took the time to get himself under control. _‘Useless? I wasn’t the one who didn’t bother to check and see if I could reach my kunai to cut myself loose. Besides, even if I did teach you a jutsu, it doesn’t mean you could use it properly against Kakashi. A jutsu is only as good as its user.’_

 

_‘You were probably just some desk chuunin anyway,’_ Sakura grumbled.

 

Shisui made an offended noise. _‘I’ll have you know that I was a jounin myself. I was on the Kiri front during the Third War.’_

 

_‘Was that before or after you jumped into the Naka River?’_

 

Surprisingly, he didn’t have an instant snappy come back for her, which Sakura was beginning to realize was his default. She waited for him to gather his thoughts while she listened with one ear to Kakashi, who was in the midst of telling them they had to return to the same training ground post haste to do their individual training. Her muscles were already screaming in protest and she hadn’t even moved again yet.

 

_‘How did you know about how I died?’_ Shisui asked finally. His voice sounded serious in her head. It occurred to Sakura that maybe she shouldn’t have been so cavalier about mentioning his suicide.

 

Kakashi clapped his hands suddenly. “That’s enough of that. We can always repeat this exercise as often as is necessary. For now, I’ll meet you back at the training grounds.” He disappeared with a poof.

 

“I don’t know if I can make it back to the training grounds,” Naruto groaned. Next to Sakura, Sasuke scoffed, though she didn’t think he had much room to go mocking Naruto. Sasuke looked as pale and as worn out as them.

 

Still, Naruto heard Sasuke’s wordless response and couldn’t keep himself from jumping to the challenge. “What’s that sound for, Sasuke? Do you think you can beat me back to training? I’m gonna leave you in the dust!” Naruto leapt to his feet in a sudden burst of energy. Sakura dug the heels of her palms into her eyes. Where did he get that energy from? It was so unfair.

 

Sasuke also climbed to his feet, albeit with less enthusiasm. Naruto’s words seemed to have lit the fires of competition in him and he was now eyeing Naruto with a calculating eye.

 

“You can try to beat me, dead last,” he taunted.

 

Apparently that was all the signal the two of them needed to go tearing off for the stairs to race each other back to the training fields. Sakura sat up, feeling exhausted just watching them. Then she slowly sat up and set off into a light jog. She hoped individual training with Kakashi wouldn’t last too long, because Sakura didn’t know for how much longer she could stay upright on her feet.

 

In the end, even though Kakashi didn’t attack Sakura on her way back to the fields, her slow speed and low stamina meant that she was only five minutes faster than she had been on the run to the top of the mountain. And of course, when she arrived, Naruto and Sasuke were already there and off to the side, each sparring with a version of Kakashi. Sakura privately hoped Sasuke had beat Naruto on the way back.

 

This was also the point where Sakura realized with faint despair that she wasn’t even going to get a _break_. She staggered over to the third Kakashi, hoping he might take pity on her anyway. He didn’t.

 

“Consider this your next lesson for today: you won’t always have time to stop and catch your breath on missions, and may even have to fight through your own exhaustion in order to complete the mission and return home. Now you’ll be learning how to fight through that handicap.”

 

Sakura barely withheld her huff of frustration. Her limbs felt like jelly and her body was battered. How could she fight like this? She stood in front of Kakashi and waited for him to move first, staring at him with dull eyes.

 

Kakashi seemed to sense that she wasn’t going to take the initiative and attack first. He reached out with an obviously lazy swipe of his hand that Sakura dodged halfheartedly. He struck at her again, faster this time, which forced Sakura to put more effort into the fight. Slowly he pushed at her until she was fighting at what felt like her limits, barely able to draw breath and struggling to block his blows. Kakashi’s breathing was still even.

 

_‘You’re so_ slow _. I’ve seen more interesting fights between geriatric cripples.’_

_‘Shut up.’_ Sakura repeated for the second time that day. She could have really used a burst of enthusiasm from Inner Sakura right about now. Unfortunately, she no longer existed, apparently.

 

Kakashi took advantage of the distraction provided by Shisui and grabbed Sakura in a grappling move that allowed him to toss her over his hip. Sakura landed hard on her back, the air momentarily gone from her lungs.

 

_‘You suck at taijutsu. You need to put some distance between the two of you so you can fight at a longer range with your ninjutsu or genjutsu.’_ Shisui told her.

 

Sakura wheezed and thought about not moving ever again. _‘I don’t know any jutsu besides the Academy three.’_

 

Shisui went so silent in her mind she thought she could almost imagine crickets chirping. She couldn’t even feel his emotions.

 

_‘You don’t know_ any _ninjutsu?’_

 

_‘If it bothers you that much, you could teach me some.’_

 

“Sakura, while playing dead can sometimes be a useful tactic, it doesn’t work when your enemy is staring right at you,” Kakashi said dryly.

 

At the same time, Shisui snorted. _‘As if I’m going to teach an ungrateful brat like you. Useless resource, indeed. Apologize first.’_

“There’s no way I’m apologizing for something that’s true,” Sakura accidentally said out loud. Kakashi blinked at her.

 

“Well, I wouldn’t say you should never apologize for things that aren’t true. It can spare you a lot of trouble. But I wasn’t asking for an apology for you laying in the grass,” he said. Sakura flushed.

 

“R-right. Sorry sensei.” Sakura reluctantly clambered to her feet to begin the spar anew.

 

Shisui stuck to his word and refused to teach Sakura even the simplest of elemental ninjutsu or genjutsu. He did, however, call out tips, as late or unhelpful as they were. Things like:

 

_‘You should dodge that kick coming at you from the left side.’_

_‘Try actually using your kunai and shuriken for once.’_

_‘Quit being so slow.’_

And her personal favorite, _‘You could try not blocking things with your face.’_

 

Eventually Kakashi decided the three of them had had enough and ended the spars. All told, they probably hadn’t lasted more than fifteen minutes. To Sakura, it had felt more like an hour. Still, Sakura supposed one way to encourage bonding amongst a team was a shared hatred for their instructor.

 

“That wasn’t great,” Kakashi said slowly, “but I suppose it could’ve been worse.”

 

Meanwhile, Shisui continued his commentary, bemoaning her speed as if it were somehow a personal offense. _‘He’s being nice. You have no concept of taijutsu, you forget that bladed weapons are a thing that exists, and you are so, so slow.’_

“-but you should have plenty of time to get a quick lunch and then return here,” Kakashi finished. Sakura resigned herself to constantly missing half the conversation for as long as Shisui was in her head, which was for the foreseeable future. The most important part, she reassured herself, was that they were evidently taking a break for a late lunch. He disappeared in what Sakura suddenly recognized was a Shunshin and left the team to their own devices.

 

There was a brief silence after he left that was, of course, broken by Naruto. “So, Sakura-chan, you wanna go get ramen?”

 

“Only if Sasuke-kun wants to come along,” Sakura turned her eyes to her crush hopefully. There was no way Sakura was going to a public place alone with Naruto. And any time spent with Sasuke was better than none at all, even if it had to be shared with Naruto. Besides, maybe it could work as team bonding or something.

 

“Tch. You two do whatever, leave me out of it,” Sasuke said. The rising hope in her chest fell as if attached to a lead weight.

 

“B-but Sasuke-kun…”

 

“It’s okay, Sakura-chan! We don’t need that bastard anyway. It can be just like a date,” Naruto insisted. He scowled at Sasuke’s turned back. “And you shouldn’t be so rude to Sakura-chan!”

 

Sakura cuffed Naruto’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t talk about Sasuke-kun like that. He doesn’t have to eat with us if he doesn’t want to.”

 

_‘Even though I really wanted to spend time with him…’_

 

“Aw, c’mon Sakura-chan. He’s just being a sore loser because I beat him back to the training grounds,” said Naruto. Sakura’s eyes flickered in Sasuke’s direction, where she noted his shoulders had suddenly tensed up.

 

_‘Well, if he really didn’t make it back first, he is probably just being a sulky brat. Kids do that a lot.’_ Shisui said knowledgeably.

 

_‘There’s no way Naruto beat him back. Sasuke is the best!’_

 

“As if I would ever lose to you.” Sasuke had turned around and was now scowling at Naruto. Sakura felt exhausted just looking at them posturing for an impending fight.

 

_‘There’s always at least two on a genin team that butt heads. They’ll get over it. Maybe. In the mean time, you should just ditch these guys and get some food.’_

 

_‘But what about Sasuke-kun?’_ Sakura asked uncertainly. She didn’t want to leave him alone, or pass up on the chance of spending more time with him.

 

Shisui sighed. _‘Look kid, he already said he wasn’t interested. It’s best not to push these things. Listen to me, you know, the actual jounin, and get some food, preferably with lots of carbs and protein, drink lots of water so you don’t get dehydrated, and let them waste their own time.’_

 

_‘But if I eat lots of carbs, I’ll gain weight!’_ Sakura fretted.

 

_‘Not with the kind of work out you had today, you won’t.’_

 

While they argued, Sakura unconsciously turned away from the still bickering Naruto and Sasuke to look towards the village center.

 

_‘Just go to like, an Akimichi grill and eat some barbeque and rice, you’ll be fine. You could use your kunai to cut the meat up, since you apparently don’t use it in a fight or to, you know, cut yourself free from some ropes.’_

 

Sakura rolled her eyes. _‘Would you drop the kunai thing? Okay, I get it, it was a stupid mistake, just shut up about it. And you are such a guy. Girls have to take good care of their appearances, you know!’_

 

_‘Are you kidding? I am never going to forget that you didn’t even try to reach for your kunai. And maybe if you spent less time trying to be pretty you might actually know some ninjutsu and not be as slow as a snail. ’_

 

“Will you shut up about how slow I am already?!”

 

Birds fluttered from the trees, frightened by the volume of her voice. Sakura clapped a hand over her mouth when she realized she had yelled that out loud. That was the second time she had responded verbally to Shisui.

 

“Sakura-chan, no one said you were slow,” Naruto said carefully. She glanced over at her fellow genin. Naruto and Sasuke were both staring at her oddly, their hands gripping each other by the front of their shirts.

 

“It doesn’t mean she’s wrong,” Sasuke pointed out. Sakura gritted her teeth. Today, it seemed like the more Sasuke opened his mouth the more the shine rubbed off him.

 

She dragged a hand down her face in frustration. “Whatever! I’m going to go get lunch now. Just leave me alone!” At this point, she honestly wasn’t sure if she was talking to her team or to Shisui. She was equally annoyed by everyone.  At the rate she was going, her whole team was going to think she was going crazy, if she wasn’t already. Sakura wasn’t sure that she wasn’t.

 

_‘This is all your fault.’_ Sakura hissed at Shisui. _‘All this, this nonsense about eyes and rivers! And talking to me and distracting me from training!’_

 

_‘Sure, sure, whatever you say. Hey, I’ve changed my mind. I could really go for some spicy curry right about now, how about you grab some of that? Mm, spicy pork curry, that sounds great.’_

 

Sakura stomped away from her teammates in search of food. _‘No way! I hate spicy food. We are going to have what_ I _want. And I want anko dango and anmitsu and some umeboshi.’_

 

Shisui made a whining noise. _‘Oh c’mon, that’s almost all sweet stuff. What about something spicy? Or even something with some meat in it?’_

_‘My body, my rules.’_ Sakura thought viciously.

 

_‘That’s mean.’_

 

_‘Maybe you should have thought of that before you possessed me.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The line about Sakura blocking things with her face is borrowed (and has been reworked from the original) from Tozette's "Dirt and Ashes" fic, a fic about Jashinist!Sakura.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Tags/Warnings: discussion of suicide, discussion of eye trauma/gouging, manipulation, hallucinations, loss of bodily autonomy
> 
> If you think I've missed a tag or that one should be added, please let me know. Thanks!
> 
> Many many thanks to crowind for beta'ing, elenathehun, phoenixyfriend, and crowind for their ideas and suggestions, and beyondthemoor for her cheerleading. They're responsible for pushing me into finishing this chapter.

In the end, Sakura decided to compromise with Shisui and ordered lunch at a tempura stall, gratefully consuming a full plate’s worth of fried vegetables and shrimp. She still spitefully ordered a small bowl of anmitsu for dessert though and savored every morsel. If he didn’t like being in her _slow_ body that liked to eat anmitsu, he could get out.

 

_‘I really, really don’t think it works like that,’_ Shisui paused. _‘I don’t even know how I got stuck inside you in the first place! Trust me, there are more interesting ways to be inside someone else’s body.’_

 

_‘What?’_ Sakura blinked out into space, her spoon held half way between the bowl and her mouth.

 

_‘Oh, oh shit, you’re like, twelve, right? Pretend you didn’t hear that. I mean, it’s not like you even know what it_ is _-‘_

Sakura cut Shisui off. _‘Did you just make a sex joke?’_

 

_‘It slipped out! I swear I’m not trying to be creepy.’_

 

Sakura let Shisui stew in silence for a few moments. It wasn’t like the joke had been about _her_. Still, if the only way she had to make Shisui watch his mouth was by letting him think she thought he was a creepy pervert, she’d take it.

 

_‘I,_ ’ Sakura began once she thought he had waited long enough, _‘am not an idiot. I do in fact know what sex is.’_

 

_‘Are you sure about the first part? Because I could’ve sworn that you forgot to check if you could cut yourself loose from some ropes,’_ he replied.

 

_‘If you don’t shut up about that I’m going to order some dango for the walk back.’_

 

_‘Fine, geez, can’t make a joke around here…’_

 

Sakura ignored him for the sake of her own sanity. All she wanted to do was enjoy her anmitsu in peace and maybe drink a gallon of water. She definitely didn’t want to spend her lunch bickering with a ghostly voice inside her head. If he even was a ghost, which she still wasn’t entirely convinced of.

 

The rest of her lunch would’ve passed without incident, except that after Sakura had paid her bill, she decided to use the bathroom. As she locked the stall behind her, it didn’t take her long to realize her conundrum.

 

_‘Can…can you actually_ see _what I see?’_ Sakura asked, facing the stall door awkwardly.

 

Luckily for her dignity, Shisui seemed to recognize the problem immediately. _‘I…yeah. As long as your body can perceive it, I can too.’_

 

Sakura fingered with the zipper to her dress as her face gradually grew warm. It shouldn’t be that difficult to use the bathroom with her eyes shut, right…?

 

_‘I’ve definitely seen worse things in my life than a girl using the bathroom.’_ Shisui said dryly.

 

_‘That’s not the point! How am I supposed to use the bathroom with a boy in my head?!’_ Sakura wailed. She fought the temptation to stomp her foot.

 

_‘Well first you sit down on the toilet seat,’_ Shisui began with a snide voice.

 

_‘If you weren’t already dead I’d kill you myself,’_ snapped Sakura. She glanced quickly around the stall and then determinedly shut her eyes.

 

_‘Ooh, yes, I’m so terrified of a twelve year old genin.’_

 

Sakura managed not to screech like a tea kettle, but it was a close thing. Instead she pulled on the zipper to her dress.

‘ _Should I hum or something?’_

 

_‘Be quiet, I’m busy trying to pretend you don’t exist.’_

 

Several awkward minutes later, Sakura left the bathroom. She knew her face had to be clashing horribly with her hair but she couldn’t bring herself to calm down. That was the worst experience ever.

 

_‘Let’s just…pretend this never happened,’_ Shisui said.

 

Well at least they finally agreed on something for once. Then again, Sakura supposed it had to be equally uncomfortable for Shisui to be in a girl’s body, and one several years younger than him apparently, as it was for her to have a boy in her head.

 

Having plenty of time left before Kakashi expected her back at the training grounds, Sakura ambled back. At this point the double layered vision she had walking through the village was no longer surprising. Given the apparently supernatural nature of Shisui’s possession of her, Sakura supposed this might be her new normal.

 

_‘Is what I’m seeing…your memories?’_

 

_‘I think so. It’s reasonable; you’re already getting some kind of bleed over from me,’_ replied Shisui.

 

Sakura observed the faded, ghostly images with renewed interest. Depending on when Shisui died and how much older than her he was, she could gain a new insight on what the village looked like before disasters like the Kyuubi. As that thought came to mind, Sakura flicked her eyes to the horizon again, hoping to catch another glimpse of the dreaded bijuu. It wasn’t like she’d get another chance to see the now dead Kyuubi, and without fear of danger at that. Unfortunately for Sakura, the terrifying mirage did not appear.

 

For a moment Sakura was tempted to ask Shisui about the Kyuubi or even the Third Shinobi War, but just as the intent began to coalesce into actual words in her mind, an image of her parents, waking up exhausted from the nightmares they still had over a decade later surfaced. She grimaced. Shisui probably wanted to answer those kinds of questions just as much as her parents wanted to, which was to say, not at all.

 

Instead she asked, _‘So if you weren’t a desk chuunin but a jounin, what were your specializations? How were you usually deployed?’_

 

_‘My specializations changed based on who you talked to,’_ Shisui said with a chuckle. _‘If I were to describe it…hmm, probably a kenjutsu user supplemented by mid-range ninjutsu and genjutsu. I was a burst melee front line shinobi, usually deployed for either assassinations or sabotage, though sometimes I also accompanied intelligence gathering missions as well, either as a specialist or as the muscle.’_

 

If he had been a burst melee shinobi, it was no wonder he emphasized speed so much. Burst melee shinobi were unlike sustained melee shinobi in that, despite their strong offense, they couldn’t keep it up for extended periods of time. Whatever they chose to specialize in, all burst melee shinobi dispatched their enemies as quickly as possible. Depending on the squad, they either acted as a secondary offensive force to sustained melee shinobi, or they remained behind with medical squads and other support shinobi.

 

_‘But why would other people not describe your specializations the same way?’_

 

Shisui hummed thoughtfully. _‘Based on certain abilities I had, there were assumptions people made about what I was and wasn’t capable of doing, and how I preferred to fight. Other people had a tendency to think I focused more on either ninjutsu or genjutsu. I was no slouch, of course, but I knew others who were true masters in those areas. I’m much more generalized by comparison.’_

 

Sakura frowned as she continued to make her way to the training grounds. The topic inadvertently turned Sakura’s thoughts away from asking Shisui more questions and towards her own team. Her quick mind glossed over what she knew of Kakashi, which was more than she thought. Yesterday she only knew that he was a weird shinobi that, despite all appearances, was definitely a part of the elite. Now she knew he was a former ANBU member and in spite of his smaller reserves of chakra, was considered a sustained melee shinobi that specialized in ninjutsu.

It was too soon for Sakura to tell what Naruto was going to choose to specialize in, but based on his stamina alone he would also be meant for ongoing combat. Sasuke at this point could choose to either be a solid all around mid to close range fighter, or focus on improving his ninjutsu, of which she knew he did the best in amongst their class. Which just left her. Sakura clenched her fists.

 

If nothing else, today highlighted that Sakura didn’t have much of anything that was useable in the field. She was the least physically capable of her team, not just in speed and strength but also in taijutsu; she had no ninjutsu whatsoever; genjutsu was a mystery…Sakura was becoming mortified to realize that the only thing she was good at was memorizing things and battle strategy and tactics. She was a paper ninja.

 

_‘I’m…a terrible shinobi…’_

 

_‘Yeah,’_ Shisui replied. _‘But a lot of genin are. That’s what training and your jounin instructor is for. Not everyone gets to start out as a talented genius.’_

 

_‘But where do I even start? I need to fix everything,’_ Sakura said.

 

_‘Well, you start with physical conditioning.’_ Shisui paused. _‘Like getting faster.’_

 

Sakura huffed out loud. _‘Ugh, how did I know you were going to say that?’_

 

_‘A strong body is the foundation to being a strong shinobi.’_

 

She sulkily seated herself at the base of a tree in the wide training grounds Team 7 had trained in earlier. Naruto and Sasuke weren’t back yet, and if Kakashi was, she couldn’t sense him. Now that she had eaten and rested for awhile, she felt significantly better, though her legs still felt a little like jelly. It was as good a time as any to work through what direction she wanted to take her shinobi career. She flicked her thumbs back and forth while she thought.

 

As much as Shisui’s suggestion rankled, it was probably the best solution for now. Sakura didn’t have any idea what she wanted to be, as a shinobi. There was more to it than just taking missions and completing the objective. There were all the administrative shinobi, usually semi-retired or with career ending injuries, peppered with able-bodied shinobi to help defend the village in case of an attack. There was the medical corps, where she would have her choice of becoming a hospital medical ninja or a combat medical ninja. ANBU, the Academy, Intelligence, Research and Development…there were plenty of places for shinobi other than on the front lines.

 

_‘It might help if you remember why you want to be a shinobi in the first place,’_ said Shisui.

 

Sakura scowled at the air. _‘Can you not listen to my thoughts for five minutes? And why can you hear mine but I can’t hear yours anyway?’_

 

_‘Probably something to do with the Yin chakra. It’s the chakra of mental and spiritual energy. I’m not really an expert on it, like some fuinjutsu specialists, or the Yamanaka or Nara,’_ Shisui answered _. ‘I don’t exactly go looking through your memories or your thoughts, you know. They just appear. Especially your thoughts. Try meditating or something, maybe that will fix it.’_

 

She dropped her head back against the tree. Physical training, meditation, none of that mattered if she didn’t also pick up a few jutsu along the way. Both of her parents had earth nature chakra, so she probably did too. Doton jutsu were good. They were mostly defensive, which would complement the offensive nature of her teammates. She should learn a few genjutsu too. She didn’t know if her parents knew much in the way of genjutsu, but they’d probably teach her some Doton ninjutsu if she asked and proved she was taking her shinobi training seriously.

 

But before she could follow that train of thought, she heard the faint sounds of bickering. It was soon followed by Naruto and Sasuke walking down the path. Sakura felt her brows rise. Did they actually eat together, or had they met each other on the way back? Either scenario was surprising. The fact that they were arguing was at least familiar to her.

 

Naruto waved when he saw her. “Oi! Sakura-chan! Are you ready for the mission?”

 

_‘Mission?’_ Sakura blinked. She reviewed the events before lunch and realized she didn’t actually know why Kakashi had asked them to return after lunch. At the time, Shisui had been criticizing her performance during training.

 

Naruto didn’t seem to notice her confusion. “Heh, this will be so easy. We won’t even need Sasuke. Between you and me, we’ll have this done in no time!”

 

“All you two would do is slow me down anyway. I’m better off doing it alone,” Sasuke said.

 

Sakura ignored her two teammates. She was sure at some point it’d get hammered into their skulls that they needed to work together as a team; no need for her to remind them.

 

_‘I wonder what kind of mission we’re going to have.’_

 

_‘Something boring and awful. All missions for genin are terrible, it’s a fact of life,’_ Shisui answered.

 

_‘Oh yeah? What are they like?’_ Sakura asked Shisui.

 

He made a non-committal noise. _‘Oh, you know, body retrieval, trap and bomb dismantling, chasing cats, that sort of thing. Just stuff that’s a pain in the ass but needs to be done.’_

 

_‘One of those things is not like the other, Shisui,’_ Sakura said dryly. _‘You’re just messing with me, right? We’re not even in the middle of a war, there are no bodies to get from anywhere. Besides, Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t send three green genin out into an active battle zone, right? Shisui? Hey, I’m talking to y—’_

 

Her internal tirade was cut off by Kakashi’s sudden appearance. Thankfully, he had foregone the chakra smoke this time. “Well, I see we all managed to get here on time. Hopefully you’ve had a full lunch, because we have quite the mission today. I made sure to get an extra special one, for our first time as a team.”

 

The three of them crowded a little closer to Kakashi. Naruto and Sasuke seemed excited, Naruto moreso than Sasuke, but Sakura found she couldn’t be with Shisui’s answer still weighing on her mind. She kept going over what she knew about various kinds of traps and how to properly disarm them, along with proper storage techniques for corpses.

 

Kakashi held up a scroll. “Today...” he paused dramatically, “we have been asked to finish roofing someone’s house.”

 

There was a beat of silence as they processed his words. Then almost as one their shoulders slumped, though Sakura’s did for reasons different than her teammates’.

 

“What? That’s crap!” Naruto shouted. “We should be doing something like defeating a corrupt daimyou and his army of samurai, or rescuing a princess! Not roofing someone’s house!”

 

Sasuke didn’t say anything but his expression clearly communicated his disgruntlement.

 

For her part, Sakura was relieved. Roofing sounded a little disappointing and not at all what she had been expecting but it was a better option than what Shisui had said.

 

_‘I knew you were just joking,’_ Sakura told Shisui.

 

_‘You say that now,’_ he replied.

 

“Maa, well, everyone needs to do their part, and sometimes your part is helping to repair someone’s house,” Kakashi replied. “A local construction crew has a few members out sick or otherwise unavailable, and they need more people to finish a client’s house. That’s where you three come in.”

 

“This is really a mission that genin take?” Sasuke asked dubiously. His brow furrowed as he crossed his arms. As Sakura glanced at him, an image of a small, slightly chubby, sulky Sasuke superimposed itself over her teammate. Her lips twitched and she felt a sudden swell of affection and nostalgia. She had the vague impression that he had hardly changed at all.

 

“It’s not just a mission genin take – it’s the mission you’re all going to complete.” Kakashi’s mask shifted as he smiled. She didn’t trust it for one second. There had to be a catch.

 

Fifteen minutes later, and Sakura found out that the catch was that the construction crew wasn’t just missing a few people – everyone but the manager had skipped out of work for the last few days and Team 7 had to do the majority of the work and have it finished by the following day. The house in question was a typical home of Konoha, with one flat section of roof for shinobi to run across and the rest gently sloping towards the ground for rain runoff. They learned this in between the manager’s profuse apologies and angry side comments about his unreliable crew.

 

“I’m sorry for such short notice, shinobi-san,” the craggy-faced manager said. “You just can’t trust those lazy Wave bastards that have been flocking here lately. My apologies for the language, sweetheart.” The last bit he directed at Sakura.

 

“It’s no trouble at all, Iwase-san. My team is ready for the work; they’ll have it finished in no time,” Kakashi reassured the man.

 

He bowed in response. “You shinobi are a bit pricey, but I hear great things about you lot. Finish it up today, and you’ll be getting my crews’ paychecks.”

 

“We’ll be sure to do an excellent job. You heard Iwase-san, kids. Get to work,” Kakashi said.

 

The three of them began to fasten the tool kits that were scattered around and nimbly climb up the ladders to the roof of the house. Just as Sakura was nearly at the top, she heard Iwase-san talking to Kakashi.

 

“Are you sure that little miss should be up there?”

 

Kakashi, however, had already pulled out his book and was reading it without a care in the world. “Hm?”

 

“I mean, shouldn’t she be doing more delicate work? Like bringing the boys some refreshments?”

 

On the roof, as Sakura pulled off sections of old tile, she felt her blood boil. She had gone  through the same exact training as Sasuke and Naruto at the Academy, and had passed the same test. She was as much of a shinobi as they were. As she pulled up a particularly stubborn piece of tile, she imagined it was Iwase’s face.

 

_‘I’ll show him delicate work!’_ Sakura scowled down at the roof.

 

_‘Easy now. You can’t actually kill your client. Calm down and work out your frustration later; save your energy for the mission,’_ said Shisui.

 

_‘I don’t need you to tell me that!’_ She snapped.

 

The internal exchange caused her to miss Kakashi’s response, if there was any, but she didn’t miss the way Naruto looked from Iwase to her.

 

He shuffled closer. “Oi, Sakura-chan. That roof guy is right; it’s okay if you don’t want to help us fix this stupid house. I know girls get tired faster and you’ve trained hard already today. You can just relax because I’ll have this done in no time!”

 

Sakura flushed with shame and embarrassment.   _‘Even Naruto thinks I can’t do this!’_

 

She glanced at Sasuke to see his reaction. There was no way he hadn’t heard Naruto’s words. Naruto’s lowest volume was only just short of a full yell after all.

 

But Sasuke only started working on his section of the roof, ignoring them entirely. She bit her lip. Did that mean Sasuke agreed with Naruto? Or was it that he thought she could work on her own? Sakura wilted.

 

_‘So you’re just going to give up?’_ Shisui prodded. _‘I thought you were going to prove your client wrong?’_

 

Sakura gritted her teeth and gripped the tool kit hard between her hands. As much as she hated to admit it, Shisui was right. She was tired, true, but she hated giving up even more than she wanted to skip their ridiculous mission.

 

“That’s okay Naruto,” Sakura finally said, smiling a poisonously sweet smile. “If you can manage not to let your stupidity stop you from being a shinobi, I’m sure being a girl won’t keep me from finishing this mission.”

 

She leaned in close and dropped her smile as she grabbed his jacket. “Now if you don’t leave me alone, I’ll throw you off the roof.” Then she shoved him away from her so she could start roofing.

 

As she worked, her foul mood only increased. The respite given to her from lunch only lasted her so long. Before Sakura knew it, she was exhausted and her limbs were trembling with strain. It turned out roofing was really hard work. Not only that, the temperature peaked as the sun reached high overhead. There was no breeze to provide relief and Sakura refused to be the first to ask for a quick break. Sweat dripped down her face and arms, causing her to stop every few minutes to wipe it away.

 

Nearby, it seemed Sasuke and Naruto had similar thoughts. Both worked relentlessly, and every few tiles they pulled up, they would glance up to check the other’s progress before throwing themselves back into it at a seemingly faster pace than before. Sakura huffed to herself. _Boys_. She couldn’t deny that their rivalry was going to help them finish the mission faster, but they were also going to exhaust themselves. On a real mission, they’d get themselves killed.

 

_‘Now that’s the way you_ should _be thinking during a mission.’_

 

_‘That’s enough out of the peanut gallery.’_

 

In short order, the three genin were collecting small stacks of new tile to nail into the roof. Their collective poor mood had only grown as Kakashi and Iwase both sat in the shade, one drinking from a canteen of undoubtedly icy water and the other reading and occasionally giggling to himself. It was with this cloud hanging over them that things finally came to an explosive head when Sasuke brushed into Naruto, causing him to slip on the roof and drop his stack of tiles.

 

“Hey, bastard! You did that on purpose!” Naruto shouted as his tiles clattered to the ground below.

 

Sakura rolled her eyes and knelt down to start hammering in the wood tiles. It was about time they started fighting; they could hardly go a few hours without it.

 

“Don’t blame me for your incompetence,” Sasuke snapped. “You can do that all on your own.”

 

Naruto stepped closer into Sasuke’s space. Sakura eyed them warily. An argument was one thing, but they weren’t actually going to have a fist fight on a _roof,_ were they?

 

“You bumped into me and made me drop my tiles because I’m beating you. I’m not stupid!” he insisted.

 

_‘That’s debatable,’_ Sakura thought uncharitably.

 

_‘No need to be so mean, Sakura.’_

 

Shisui sounded awfully amused for someone who was telling her not to be mean to her teammates. In the background, Naruto and Sasuke continued to argue.

 

Sakura diligently hammered in her tiles one by one. Even though it was beginning to cool at long last, she was completely covered in sweat, making her job difficult. She cursed as the hammer slid in her slippery hand and she hit her thumb.

 

She sucked her thumb and hissed when she pulled it out to peer down at it. It was a bright angry red and throbbed in time with her heart beat. As she finally considered stopping for some water and to ice her finger, the voices of her teammates crescendoed.

 

_‘Sakura, duck!’_

 

_‘What?’_

 

Sakura looked up instinctively at Shisui’s warning. She had just enough time to take in Sasuke dodging a tile that Naruto had flung at him before it hit her squarely on her accursed forehead.

 

Sakura reeled almost drunkenly, stars bursting across her vision. She tipped backwards and began to slide down towards the edge of the roof. Only some reflexive instinct had her flailing and grasping at the roof until her balance recovered enough for her to ensure she wouldn’t fall off.

 

There were twin surges of anger inside her and she was caught between the urge to clutch her head and do something about her teammates. A barely coherent impression of _‘those damn brats!’_ and the burning desire to _hurt_ them decided it for her and before she knew what she was doing, Sakura grabbed one of her own tiles and threw it with unerring accuracy at Naruto. He yelped when it connected with his chest and the force of it knocked him on his behind. A nasty part of her wished he had fallen off the roof.

 

In her head, Shisui was a fuzzy, static ball of irritation that made her aching head feel that much worse, which was compounded by her still throbbing thumb.  Her other hand twitched with a need to punch her teammates that was not entirely her own.

 

“You moron!” Sakura’s voice was ragged as she struggled not to scream. “You hit me in the head!”

 

Naruto staggered to his feet. “H-hey, Sakura-chan, it was just an accident, I didn’t mean to—”

 

Sakura cut him off. “What did I tell you about leaving me alone?” She too climbed to her feet and started stalking towards Naruto.

 

Down below, Iwase was watching the exchange warily.

 

“Hey, shinobi-san, I think you need to do something about your kids. That little miss looks like she’s ready to murder someone,” he said.

 

Kakashi hummed a bit, unconcerned. “I’m sure they’ll sort it out. These sorts of things happen all the time with new teams.”

 

Back on the roof, Sakura seized Naruto’s ear. She twisted it roughly as she pulled him towards the edge of the roof, her temper lending her strength.

 

“No, Sakura-chan, don’t throw me off the roof!” Naruto squealed, his voice breaking on the high pitch.

 

“Too bad!” She snarled.

 

As she strode towards the edge, her foot kicked Sasuke’s tiles.

 

“Hey!” Sasuke jerked as his tiles went tumbling down the roof to the ground below.

 

_‘This is going to be such a disaster.’_

 

_‘Shut up, I’ve had it with everyone!’_

 

“Don’t get me caught up in your stupidity,” Sasuke continued.

 

Sakura stopped. “This wouldn’t have happened if you two weren’t so stupid.” She insisted. She tightened her grip as Naruto tried to squirm out of her hold.

 

“Don’t blame me because you’re too slow to dodge a brick.” Sasuke’s hands clenched and unclenched reflexively. He didn’t seem to know if it was appropriate to grab her the way he would Naruto. Or maybe he was just trying to keep himself from shaking her. Sakura bared her teeth. The way she was feeling, she wished he would. She would throw him off the roof too.

 

And then his words registered. For a moment, all seemed to go silent. And then she heard Shisui snicker in her head.

 

“I’m not slow!” she roared.

 

She lunged towards Sasuke with her free hand. She should’ve known better; he was far more agile than she, and dodged her easily. What he failed to account for was the slant of the roof. As he tilted backwards dangerously, his arms began to pinwheel. At the sight, Sakura momentarily forgot her anger.

 

“Sasuke-kun!”

 

His hand grabbed her shirt. The three of them only had a split second to stare and realize the coming consequences before Sasuke’s weight pulled them all over the edge of the roof.

 

The three of them lay tangled together, wheezing and groaning in a pile of limbs. Sakura had been lucky; she landed across Naruto and Sasuke, both of whom had taken the brunt of the fall, along with her weight.

 

“I think you ripped my ear off,” Naruto whimpered.

 

“You deserve it, moron,” Sasuke snapped back.

 

Sakura kicked her foot without seeing who she was aiming at. “Both of you, shut up.”

 

_‘I told you this was going to be a disaster.’_

 

_‘You can shut up too.’_

 

A shadow fell over them. Sakura looked up to see Kakashi staring down at them. “Now what have we all learned today?” he asked them brightly.

 

The three of them stared at Kakashi, all simmering with resentment and loathing.

 

“If you don’t learn to work together as a team,” Kakashi said, “you’re going to fall off a roof.”

 

Sakura rolled off Naruto and Sasuke and left them to figure out how to untangle themselves. She had a roof to finish and she planned on going home sometime today.  Sasuke and Naruto soon followed her, and they resumed their work in stony silence.

 

By the time they finished, lunch was little more than a daydream and Sakura’s stomach was a gnawing pit of hunger, desperate for dinner. But the house was completely roofed and their client was pleased. Sakura might have felt more of a sense of accomplishment when she was handed her cut of the mission pay if her body weren’t aching everywhere.

 

Kakashi clapped his hands with faux cheer as he considered them all. “This has been such an illuminating day, hasn’t it? I think we’ve all learned a lot.”

 

_‘I learned a lot about how much I want to punt my teammates all the way across the continent,’_ Sakura grumped to herself.

 

“You’ve all worked very hard today and I look forward to seeing the same effort tomorrow,” Kakashi said, his solitary eye crinkling. In it, Sakura swore she saw the depths of hell. “So I will see you tomorrow at six am sharp.”

 

He reached out to ruffle hers and Naruto’s hair. As his hand reached towards her, panic suddenly spiked in her throat. She saw an image of someone else’s fingers moving towards her, grasping at her eye. Or was it her own hand? Blood was dripping down her face and she could hear water and she couldn’t stop the hand she was going to lose her eye _no no no no_

 

Sakura broke out of her paralysis and slapped away Kakashi’s hand. It hovered in the air for a moment and she could clearly sense his surprise. And then he let it fall away and acted as if she hadn’t done anything at all.

 

“Bye now.” With a wave, Kakashi disappeared.

 

Naruto and Sasuke were staring at her. She swallowed hard underneath their scrutiny. “It’s just been such a long day, and I didn’t want him messing up my hair,” she laughed weakly, trying to play off her sudden panic.

 

“Your hair is already a mess from sweating all day,” Sasuke pointed out bluntly.

 

“Well it’s not like I know where his hands have been or anything!” Sakura said as she grasped for excuses. “So, I have to get home now. See you tomorrow, Sasuke-kun! And you too, Naruto,” she added as an afterthought. With that, she dashed off into the darkening night.

 

Her jelly legs and bone deep exhaustion made the trip home longer than usual, but when Sakura came home, the house was filled with the smell of dinner. Her mouth watered in response.

 

Shisui chanted an unending litany of _‘food food food’_ as the smell registered for him as well. She rolled her eyes. He was awfully concerned about food for a guy who was dead.

 

_‘It tastes good,’_ he said defensively. _‘I don’t need to be alive to appreciate the finer things in life.’_

 

_‘You are going to be murder on my weight loss plan,’_ Sakura said.

 

Thankfully for her sanity, Shisui quieted down again when she sat down for dinner. She was able to make it through the meal and some conversation with her parents peacefully, and in fact she was almost able to forget that there was a ghost in her head. Instead, she got to be a normal twelve year old, complaining to her parents about her awful team and her weird jounin instructor.

 

After dinner, Sakura trudged upstairs for the bath. One of her parents had already drawn it earlier, so all Sakura had to do was wash herself off before she could relax in its soothing warmth.

 

Of course, once she was in the bathroom, she found herself facing the same dilemma as she had earlier that day, but even worse.

 

_‘How am I supposed to take a bath with you in my head?’_

 

_‘Try closing your eyes again?’_ Shisui suggested. Sakura groaned into her hands.

 

_‘I can’t just close my eyes the entire time I take a bath.’_ Sakura dropped her head against the wall.

 

_‘Well, you can either get over it and take a bath, or just never take one ever again and reek for the rest of your life,’_ he said.

 

Sakura shifted in place. It wasn’t that different from public bathhouses. There were some that didn’t separate by gender, even in Konoha. And she really wanted to soak before she went to bed.

 

_‘Fine. But don’t you dare make fun of what I look like, or I’ll eat anmitsu for the rest of this week.’_

 

Sakura stripped off her clothes and Shisui remained blissfully quiet. She paused while she folded her clothes, feeling suspicious of his obliging silence, but nothing was forthcoming. A few seconds later she was seated on the low stool and scrubbing away the day’s grime and sweat. Underneath the warm spray, her muscles loosened gratefully.

 

Once she was properly washed off, Sakura climbed into the deep bath tub and let herself relax and start to contemplate the day’s events. She stared unseeing at the pale islands that were her knees. Water dripped down her back from her pinned hair. The combination of water and her lowered guard resulted in a deluge of thoughts that weren’t her own.

 

_-the clan never had a chance to begin with, he had been working against them the entire time-_

 

_-his hand ripped out his eye while he used the other one to brutally beat his body-_

 

_-he wasn’t one of the prized shinobi of the clan for nothing, and he needed to get away to warn him-_

 

_-no one could have his other eye, it was too dangerous-_

 

Suddenly the impressions seemed to jerk inside her head and then Shisui’s presence seemed to expand in her head.

 

_‘What did you just see?’_ his voice was dark and heavy with intent. Sakura pulled her legs close as she processed the mental images. She had known all along, hadn’t she, that someone had hurt Shisui very badly before he died.

 

_‘I said, what did you see? Tell me now Sakura,’_ he demanded.

 

Sakura ignored his words. _‘Who…,’_ she swallowed. _‘Who ripped out your eye, Shisui?’_

 

His mental presence seemed to break in an odd way that Sakura instinctively associated with shock. It solidified again and this time was a nearly impenetrable wall that hid thoughts behind it which Sakura could not discern.

 

When he spoke again, his voice was hard and even, and for the first time she really believed he was a jounin. _‘What makes you think someone took my eye?’_

 

_‘I saw it,’_ she answered in a small voice. _‘And then… and then you gave the ANBU boy your other eye. You…’_ She furrowed her brow as she recalled her nightmare.

 

_‘You told him he was your best friend and that you were giving it to him for safe keeping.’_ Sakura’s voice became shrill as her horror mounted. _‘You gave him your eye! And then you jumped into the Naka River! I saw it!’_

 

_‘You saw how I died?’_ Shisui pressed.

 

_‘It was a little confusing; I had a nightmare about it, it was so awful, I couldn’t move at all except to pull my left eye out and give it to the boy. But I didn’t see very well what happened before then.’_ Sakura hesitated a little. Shisui sounded slightly calmer. It was no wonder that his death was a sensitive topic. _‘Shisui… would you like to talk about it? Is that why you came back? To get revenge on the person who took your eye?’_

 

Shisui’s presence remained impassive for a long time, so long in fact, that Sakura thought that maybe he hadn’t heard her or had fallen asleep. And then she felt him sort of shudder, or maybe ripple, and then she felt grief begin to emanate from him as his mental presence shrank in on itself.

 

_‘I… forgive me, Sakura, I just can’t talk about it. It’s too difficult. Please, let it alone.’_

 

_‘Oh.’_ There was a part of Sakura that wanted to keep pushing. What about the ANBU boy with Shisui’s other eye? Why did Shisui feel the need to commit suicide? And surely he would want to confront the person responsible for hurting him in the first place? Then again, the only way Shisui could do that was through her, and if this person could maim a jounin and escape, then killing her would be too easy.

 

Shisui’s plea struck a chord in her. It was clear his death was too new and he hadn’t come to grips with it. It probably bothered him that she was reliving it. It seemed like it was a private, intimate thing, and here was Sakura, watching it and picking at the scabs with hardly a care at all for how Shisui might feel about it.

 

_‘I’m sorry,’_ she offered lamely.

 

_‘It’s fine. How about you just go to sleep now. You have to wake up early tomorrow, after all.’_ With Sakura’s acquiescence to Shisui’s request, his voice became normal again and no longer the oppressive thing it was before.

 

Sakura made a noise of agreement. She climbed out of the tub and proceeded to finish her nightly routine.

 

Eventually she made it into her bed, collapsing into it with a grateful sigh. She could only imagine what kind of awful training and missions would be in store for her tomorrow. And that was before Naruto did something stupid to make things worse or Shisui started in on his nagging comments. She curled up beneath her covers and closed her eyes. But for now, sleep.

 

Not long afterward, the nightmares started.


End file.
